Wicked Wednesday: 50 Ways to Please Your Lover 

My contribution for Wicked Wednesday this week is bought to you by the number 50 and a shameless Paul Simon homage.

The problem is all inside your head
She said to me
The answer is easy if you
Take it logically
I’d like to help you in your struggle
To be free
There must be fifty ways
To please your lover

Give her arse a little smack, Jack,
Nibble on my ear, dear,
Try the buttplug, Doug,
And get yourself off,
Ice cube in your mouth, Ralph,
Try a new sex toy, Joy,
Try a little scoff, Christophe,
And get yourself off,

Pull on his hair, Cher,
Why don’t you give a rim, Kim,
Be a bit more domme, Dom,
And make your lover cum,
Tie up her wrists, Chris
Why don’t you take your thumb,chum,
And then stick it up her bum
And make your lover cum
 

That’s actually as far as I’ve got. I just hope it’s due to my poor rhyming skills rather than my lack of ability in the bedroom that’s to blame.

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